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  • Writer's pictureAmelia Gillis, LMHC


Dear Amber,

I don't want to draw this out but I need to get this off of my chest. I know that it has been a while since I’ve really approached you and had a heart to heart talk with you. There’s been something that were eating at me that I never addressed and I wanted to get it off of my chest. First, let me say, I apologize for how I've treated you in the past. I'm sure you have forgotten about it by now because you typically sweep things under the rug. Yet, you deserve to hear this. You see I didn't allow you to receive the love I know you deserved. I became selfish and I was so focus on everyone else that I neglected you. I didn't see that you needed love first. There were times that I allowed people to misuse you and disrespect you. I could've set better boundaries. If I did, you could've avoided a lot of hurt. Also, I know I am the cause of your low self-esteem and lack of drive. I accept that responsibility. I should have affirmed you more. Let's face it, when times get hard, I give up on you. When you told me your dreams, I didn't support them as I should've. Do you remember that one time where made a goal to get all A's in school? Or that time, you dreamed about being a lawyer? Yet, I discouraged you from believing in yourself. I told you repeatedly that you were not smart enough until you believed it and it embodied your responses. Whenever you made a mistake, I didn’t give you grace. I made you feel bad and I am sorry. I now see the damage that I’ve caused. I know I am not responsible for everything that has happened to you but I know I could’ve done better with helping you recover. Again, I am sorry. I hope you allow me to love you better. I failed to see who you are, a beautiful, unique, intelligent, kind, and important queen. My eyes are now open and I intend to love you better.

Signed, Amber.

Self love

Just like Amber, many struggle with loving ourselves and seeing our worth. Many times we don't realize that who we are is shaped by how we see and treat ourselves. We tend to mistreat ourselves and which can cause us to lose sight of our identity and purpose. This issue can be due to the lack of self love which begins with self-care. The lack of self-care can cause us to form a negative view of ourselves which can lead to unhealthy behavior patterns. Therefore, we have to become intentional about how we love and care for ourselves mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically.

Start Today

You can start today by focusing on learning how to love yourself better through self-care. Self-care is essential for optimal health. This isn’t just important, it is crucial. Self-care can help you form a healthier and positive view of yourself. This can change unhealthy behavior patterns. It can even help you progress faster. Self-care prevents “burnout”. It keeps you focus on your dreams and the steps you need to take to get to your dreams. It teaches you how to give yourself the things that are needed for optimal physical and mental health. This can include, but not limited to, meditating, setting goals and boundaries, journaling, knowing when to say “no”. Self-care can help build your communication skills, resilience, and increase your overall ability to foster positive relationships. Self-care can benefit your life.

Fresh Start

Now, take the time to think about how you treated yourself in the past. Do you need to write yourself a letter forgiving yourself for your lack of self-love and care? What can you do to show yourself more love and care? What words will you speak over yourself? Will you forgive yourself for your mistakes? You deserve a fresh start. It is time for you to star in the greatest love story ever told. The one with yourself. How will your story go?

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