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  • Writer's pictureAmelia Gillis, LMHC

Planted Seeds

Failed dreams, inconsistent goals, and broken relationships seemed to be a consistent pattern in my life. Why is it that I constantly deal with the same thought patterns over and over? I didn’t understand why. These thought patterns had taken over how I saw myself and others. I didn’t trust anyone and neither did I believe in myself. I was used to believing in an idea and then it fell through. I was used to failure and disappointment. I knew it would eventually come.

The Planter

One day, I was visiting a friend I haven’t seen in a long time. While we were catching up, I happened to notice an array of beautiful colors in her backyard. She told me it’s been awhile since I’d visited and so she took me outside to see the growth that occurred in her garden. I was amazed to see how her garden had grown so much since the last time I was there. The plants and fruit were healthy and vibrant. I was so intrigued that I wanted to know her secrets on how to properly grow a garden. As she was sharing, she explained the job of the planter and the process of the seeds and the necessary requirements. One thing she said stuck out. She explained that the success of any seed depends entirely on the ground that it lands in. She explained that the seed itself has life. All that it needs is the correct growing conditions. It was amazing to see the different kinds of seeds she had and how they each produced something different, such as leaves, fruit, and colorful flowers.

The Seeds

When she was done, she invited me back in to finish catching up. She wanted to know how things were going in my life. Immediately, it was automatic, I started to vent about all the negative things in my life. As I went on and on, my friend stopped me and challenged me to consider what I had been planting on the inside of my mind. I took a moment to process her words. I replayed the conversation and realized that everything I said was negative. Honestly, majority of the time I am speaking negativity.

The Process

I told her I appreciated her honesty and went home to figure out what was going on with me. I replayed some of the moments of success and failures in my life. I realized regardless of the moment, I had sowed negative seeds. Not only that but I recognized that the fruit of those seeds manifested different things shaped like fear, doubt, low-self-esteem, trust issues, etc. I was like my friend’s garden. Daily, I had been seeds. The seeds were given directly (information that is given through multiple avenues; i.g. relationships, environment) and/or indirectly (information that is discovered through multiple avenues such as subliminal messages, marketing, disappointment). The seeds I was nourishing were negative ones that produced bad fruit. To make things worse, my fruit produced weeds in which my negativity was growing into all other areas of my life.

The Growth

The harvest of my seeds became the reality of every part of my life. I didn’t want to stay this way. My friend recommended a counselor, I was a little hesitant at first. I mean I wasn’t crazy but I knew I needed to make a change. I went for several sessions. I expressed my concerns and not only did I begin to transform my mind but I learned some valuable information.

Here are some nuggets I’ve learned that will assist you in your process. Most importantly, whatever you focus on, you become. In life, you will experience hardship, you will be judged for your personality, you will be disappointed and disappoint others, and yes you will get hurt. by your appearance. However, we must not allow those challenges to dictate our future. Your thoughts have the power to stir your desires and emotions, and eventually a decision to follow them. Today, you have the choice to accept certain seeds and discard others. Be careful what you take in and allow to manifest in your mind. Choose carefully what you focus on, your life depends on it.

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