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  • Amelia Gillis, LMHC

Broken Thoughts


Dear Reader,

Have you ever felt like you were moving but your body wasn’t?

This is my constant mental struggle. My mind continues a race that I am forced to run in.

Thoughts that transforms into voices that become louder than any voice of reason.

It's like these voices become the controller of my emotions, my behavior, and my will. I am not sure if this is a season that I am facing but I look forward to a state of normalcy. There is a fear that the norm may be this.

I am still trying to make sense of what I am facing. The best way to describe it would be say It’s a rollercoaster of emotions that steers my mind with thoughts that I can’t filter through. I can’t rest because I am arrested by these thoughts that control my behaviors. You see, if you accept one thought then an army joins in and then this vicious cycle continues. My mind is in a battlefield. When I attempt to defeat and denounce one negative thought, another 7 more arrive to combat my attempt for peace.

Thoughts like…..

“You will never be enough”

"They won't like what you do anyways"

“You're not going to get through this"

"You can't even complete things on time"

“People never believe in you so you might as well not try”

I am not sure of the root of these thoughts but they cause me worry and fear. I am constrained by these thoughts and they are constantly running through my mind. I am in fear of what is, what is to come, and even what I may think.

Signed,

A overwhelmed mind.

The THOUGHTS!

We all hear the thoughts that seems to trouble us. Sometimes we accept the truth of them even if it is contrary to what we may want to believe. It speaks from our past, our present, and even to our future.

These voices are formed by our history, our pain, and even our destiny. It can populate feelings of anxiety, depression, fear, rejection, and so many other mental health conditions. It can control our day. It can control our feelings and emotions. Sometimes it seems like these thoughts defeats us.

WHAT IS ANXIETY?

Anxiety is one of the most prevalent mental health problems in the United States. There are many different explanations. Biologically, anxiety disorders are likely to involve an inherited vulnerability that is activated by stressful life events. According to Cognitive Behavioral theories, it is believe that anxiety is caused when a stressor produces a perception of a threat. This perception produces an emotional reaction often a dysfunctional reasoning. Certain characteristics of anxiety includes feeling powerless, pessimistic, and fearful of harm or threat.

YET, there is hope!

You have the power to stop or redirect those thoughts that attempt to control your life. This can be done through several steps.

1. Recognize your norm. Are you normally a negative thinker or positive thinker? Do you quickly run to a mental state of despair when things go wrong? When things are right, are you expecting things to go wrong? Do you push past fear and rejection by redirecting to something positive? Being aware of how you respond to day to day situations will bring awareness to the conquering voice in your life.

2. Train your mind. What are you speaking into your life daily? If you want to think positively and defeat those negative thoughts, what are you affirming over yourself daily? What voice speaks for you? Is it one that is filled with negativity? Is it a voice that brings about optimism in a despairing situation? How are the voices in your head formed? The voice we hear is a reflection of who we are and sometimes who we fight to be. What you speak over yourself whenever you're in despair is what you have adapted as your norm.

Be mindful that when the negative voices become our norm. We are in danger of a downward spiral. We must learn to recognize when the voices of negativity our taking over our lives. We have the power to transform our lives by what we speak over ourselves and to ourselves.

3. Mediate. Take some time to reflect. Are you overwhelmed with a list of demands? Have you allowed space in your schedule to breathe? What are you speaking to yourself in the mornings? How are you starting your day? These are things to reflect on. Relax your mind, Affirm yourself, and remember that you don't always have to be in control in order to BE in control.

If you or someone you know suffers from have severe anxiety, please reach out to a local professional to get support.*